Undoing

a day spent moving to
keep my body preoccupied
and avoid the compulsive
need for engagement
everything I’ve done is second
to anything I haven’t
on the run in a captive state
captivated by the accomplishments
of other people
stark admiration and
jealousy in smooth undulation
my life’s work is an
image of fawning evasion
and ideas made to be adored
this will be my undoing